Frusterations

I dont know if i told you all... but Henrys parents died because of the lords resistance up north... his job is also to work with boys who escaped or were part of the whole child soldier thing...we were talking this weekend and he told us that all the money and effort put forth in the US for "child soldiers"...was all to make awareness... none of it got back here to Africa... he says that is the case with most campaigns like that.... this frustrated me a lot... another thing that frustrated me is all the things we are learning about... all of the white missionaries that come here and bring their "culture"... they forget to detaching their culture from their religion and end up ruining tribes and people and traditions here... or churches like the one i went to that just want money to bring western buildings and teach these people that being a Christian is being a number and bringing in numbers and forgetting the relationship... FORGETTING CHRIST... I feel frustrated... and i am wondering if i should really be another American coming to a foreign land to screw things up... i have felt this deep pull twards missions till now.. where i dont know what God has for me... does he want me in a forgin land that i dont know bringing the gospel and possibly messing it up as so many have.... or should i be on the other side of things? working in my country and in my culture... perhaps helping others see the mistakes i have seen?? These questions have been weighing on my heart a lot lately... I am not sure my place in this culture... im not sure i have one...